One Rung at a Time

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I recently had a patient who expressed loss of hope. When we explored this together, she shared a physical weight, a spiritual instability, and a mental emptiness. She was tired in every area of her life. Throughout the conversation, several key things were obvious to me.

The first being that she was stuck in a vicious cycle. It is the same whirlwind that engulfs many of us. It isn’t the hopelessness, but the lies that refuse to let us climb out or that knock us back down when we get part of the way out of the hole. The crazy thing about lies, is that you do not need to be in the middle of depression to experience the weight of them. In fact, you probably do not even recognize them because they are a pretty standard form of self-talk for a large percentage of us.

The second thing that I saw was that the physical aspect of life was beating her up and that naturally it had seeped into every other area of her being. We are so prone to see the portions of our lives in which we can compare and contrast with others. If ours looks less in some way or is encased in difficulties, it can appear as if we are less.

The last piece that I was able to discern was her strengths. She had so many great things going for her, so many tools in her toolbelt in which she could use to overcome the desperate place that she was in. The problem was that there was so much negativity that it overshadowed even the tools that were ready and recognizable.

When we get to the place where we feel a little bit like Peter and the other disciples in the middle of a storm or in fear of the unknown, we need to be able to pull out specific tools. (Read Matthew 14.22-32) Each one of these that I offer are practical and can be used in more than desperate situations. One of the most difficult thoughts for us to grasp is that we are not alone in feeling our feelings, or in experiencing life the way we are in the moment. So, I want to give you a nugget that if you hold onto you will find strength in. If you read the story in Matthew, you realize that Peter is still in the midst of his fear even as he is speaking to and look at Jesus. The thing that steadies him, is Jesus’ hand. Not his voice, not his presence, but his hand. All Peter had to focus on was the one thing, the hand of his Lord. I wish this was some amazing theological gift I was giving you, but the reality of it is, that when you are struggling all you have to see is one thing. Attempting to put the entire picture into focus is too overwhelming. In every situation there is one thing that offers hope. Like Peter, that is the one thing that can give you the ability to take one step at a time.

For many of you reading this you might be thinking it’s your faith. While that is where I would naturally go as well, I suggest to you that the idea of faith is too grand. You need something simple. When I was going through my divorce and the world was pretty dark, I had my faith for sure. I also had one thing that centered me and turned me in the right direction. I would sing the song, Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus. It was not my whole faith, but it represented both my faith and it reminded me to take one simple step at a time. Each time it was the same step first, look at Christ. I didn’t need to see the entirety of scripture. I didn’t need to focus on prayer. I didn’t need to guarantee I attended worship. While all of these things were good and had the ability to fill me, they were overwhelming. So, I just turned my eyes to Jesus. It’s different for each of us. For Peter, it was the touch of Jesus’ hand. For each of you reading this, it is another just as valuable nugget.

So, hold that and dig into the other steps I want to share with you. When we are in places that continue to beat us up it is incredibly difficult, as I already said, to focus on the big picture. Try this instead. Consider the fact that you are not just a physical being. You are also spiritual, emotional, mental. Begin by taking those pieces apart. Let me explain. Step one, write down or mentally consider all that you are feeling or sensing in each of these realms. What does your physical life feel like right now, your spiritual, your … you get the idea. A physical description might be – exhausted, but go on to explain what it feels like to be exhausted. My patient said she felt like a boulder was sitting in the middle of her gut. Do this for each piece of you.

Then figure out which one is the best place to put your focus. Is your spiritual being in the healthiest place? If so, use that place to keep moving forward. Let me explain. If it’s spiritual, then that place becomes your go to when the physical oppresses. But you need to give the spiritual access to the physical, mental, emotional. I’ll use my example again. Let’s say you are experienced a heartbreaking divorce and can’t seem to get passed it. You would recognize the qualities in the other areas of your life. Physically it might be lonely. Mentally you might feel ugly. Emotionally it might create deep sadness. Then you would allow your strong spiritual side to feed truth into these areas. When lies surface in these areas you combat it. Physically you combat it by saying aloud, “God will never leave me.” Mentally, you say aloud, “I am made in the image of God which is beautiful.” Emotionally, you say, “Jesus brings me peace and comfort.”

My current frustration is that this is a blog. You are on one side of the device in a completely different space and time. There is so much more to explore in this arena. So many more great things to give to you so that you can combat the ugly stuff of life. Just know I am praying for you, my friend. And if you find yourself needing or wanting more go to my homepage and shoot me an email through the link.

-blessings