Fear is a strange thing. It is like fire in a way. Think about the last time you started any kind of fire. From a candle to a blazing bonfire, they all start the same. A tiny spark must occur before there is anything else. Regardless of how you do it there has to be an initial flame or as my firefighter of a husband would say, “a place of origin.”
Fear gets its start much the same way. A fire, a seed, a doubt, the options of comparison are limitless. The point is it there is typically a little nudge. Have you ever watched a scary movie, the nudge is a scan to the woods or the music, oh the music! I don’t watch them, but my kids always say that’s when you know something is about to happen. Or my favorite is what my youngest daughter says, “are they really that stupid? Dark hallway, scary cellar, stand of trees and they still go in, like what did they expect to happen?”
We don’t want to see those things and so we don’t until it’s too late. Fear works the same way. It is not that we can’t or don’t want to see it, it’s more like the flame. We know it’s a tiny spark, but we do not expect it to get so big. When we finally realize it, our brains have shifted gears on us into flight or fight mode. I can think of two perfect examples from the bible. They are two different reactions but the same person reacting, oddly enough to the same fear.
The disciples of Jesus were often confused about the future of his ministry. I really do not blame them. How difficult it must have been to believe in this man? In the final moments of Christ’s life, Peter responds out of an unknown fear. The first example is in the garden when the soldiers come for Jesus. Peter is quick to defend his master, his friend, by lopping off the ear of a guard (Luke 22.49-51). The second example comes in the courtyard where Jesus has been taken when Peter denies any knowledge or connection to Christ, to save himself (Matt. 26.69-75). The tiny spark that lit this irrational fear was doubt.
These followers of Christ had heard stories their entire lives of the coming Messiah. They had heard how he would be of the bloodline of King David. He was equated to a king of great power and military might. They were told that his throne was to be established and that the nations of the world would bow to him. While Jesus mirrored images of a king who was known to his kingdom, who was not secluded away as some idol to be brought only when praise was due, he had as of yet to display his bravado. How easy it must have been for Peter to doubt that the end of his master would come as it was playing out.
What thing do you have that is a tiny spark? When the wind blows a little bit does that spark flare up just a tad? What happens if that flame is fed oxygen and wood, does it grow uncontrollable? Like Peter we build images of what life should be, or we draw boundaries around what shouldn’t be and never fully address our questions, concerns, fears.
I am terrified that my children will not know how deeply they are loved. I am more terrified that my husband does not truly love me. These are tiny irrational fears. I promise they are unwarranted, my husband tells me, “I’m here aren’t I. If I didn’t want to be, I wouldn’t.” I am chuckling in my office right now because if you knew my husband you would be too – he’s not a good liar and he doesn’t beat around any bushes to make his point. Let me go back, these are fears. Rational, irrational does not matter they are fears that sit in the back of our mind. They are there for different reasons which I won’t go into right now. The point is they exist. You have some too. It’s not that we have them it’s what we allow to happen to them that matters.
Within the first chapter of scripture, we are told that creation is good. When we feed fears ultimately the view we have of creation, is skewed. It becomes bigger than us and we are left with two options of response, fight or flight. Neither of these are great choices for every day living. These are tools for survival. If you are always operating out of one of these two places your system is on high alert which means at some point it will become irrational or explode.
So, how do you put the flame out versus fan it? Here are a few simple suggestions.
- Face the nagging fear head on. What is it that is bothering you? Give voice to it either to yourself, in prayer, or to someone who knows you well.
- Weigh it against what is true, does it have merit, or does it need extinguished? If it can be removed try rethinking about it when it surfaces, don’t give it merit, tell yourself it is a lie.
- Does it have impact on your daily living? Speak to someone about changing it’s hold on you.
Jesus helped Peter to work out his fear. He did not just address the situation after the fact and let it drop. Neither did he wave a magic wand and make it disappear. He actually helped Peter to see the truth of his fear and alter his thinking. It can be done, and freedom occur!
If you need someone to journey with you, please locate the contact button on the bottom of the home page and reach out to me. I am so grateful for you, thank you for letting me come along with you.
-blessings
Monica Swank 