You’ll hear me talk about a toolbelt from time to time. Let me first explain where that idea comes from. I draw that image from the Bible. In Ephesians 6, God tells us to put on his armor. This is much more than simply excepting faith in him and then doing life our way. In fact, once again you could trace a piece of my website back to this nugget. Not only do I talk about a toolbelt, but my tagline is, “beyond faith to life transformed.”
Why? Faith is not the hardest part of this journey we call life. Even faith in a Creator God isn’t all that challenging. What seems to be the deal breaker is following his guidelines. The understanding of what that is also is easy to grasp. Simply put we like doing things our way. But this blog topic isn’t about faith. It is about armor, and I believe that whether you have faith in God or not you can benefit from armor.
I will always tell you that without the key component of a relationship with God your self-work will teeter on the return to the negative. However, this topic is based on a tool in your belt of resources. A level is used to determine if measurements are correctly done. They are capable of defining vertical and horizontal surfaces for accuracy. As we move through life, especially as we make process in rethinking our self-thoughts, we need to constantly be aware of movement away from the place that we determined to be level.
Part of this begins at awareness. When I work with individuals to determine their ‘level’ ground we talk about being on alert for any shifts away from this place. If a builder is setting the blocks for a basement and one block is set just slightly ajar, then the whole structure that eventually goes on top will not ever be square. The same is true with us. If we allow a small shift, then we are apt to allow another one, if this process continues the potential for the base in which we have worked to make healthy will revert back in some way.
Things for which we need to be aware are those influences that drag us away from healthy self-thoughts. Let’s say you are prone to believe that you are not worthy of being loved. What could shift your foundation. Broken friendships, bad dates, an argument with someone special, being snubbed at a public event, all have the potential to influence your self-talk in damaging ways. Someone’s snide comment has the same impact.
Here’s the truth of it. These things are going to happen. We live in a world that at times is insensitive to the spirit of others. In all honesty, you’ve probably said something at some point that has knocked someone’s soul for a good spin. The key is being aware and then knowing how to get your level straight again. The problem with giving you a definitive answer is that for each of us that looks different. I have a good friend who let’s snide remarks roll right off her shoulders. For me, if that comment comes from someone I am close to, I have to weed it out so I don’t let it seep into my core thoughts.
That last paragraph is hard for me because I always say I don’t want to be a help, I want to be a resource. So, let me give it my best effort in trying to provide one. Be alert to any of the following things that can become influences if allowed into your belief system.
- Are they (comments, arguments, etc.) meant to hurt you? For this you are going to have to be really honest with yourself. Not all things that are negative, especially arguments, are designed to hurt. They often are just misunderstandings. Part of determining the intent is to point-blank ask.
- Do the words or events have truth to them? My husband once told me that the candy bar I was going to eat was going to go straight to my backside (not nice, but I had asked for help with changing my eating habits). Was there truth, yes. Were they meant to hurt, no. Examine them with finite detail. If you are prone to believe the bad immediately or don’t often see your own errors you’re going to have to weed through these carefully.
Healthy self-talk is not dishonest. If you are wounded by some of the above things, or your alertness button tells you that you need to key in, there is work to be done here. The best way I know to encourage you to do this is through the image God has of you. He says you are special, you are loved, and you are made in his likeness.
My friend, I always worry over you out there trying to make these changes on your own. I pray for you regularly. If you need or want help as you travel on this road called life, please, please, contact me. On the home page of my website, www.monicaswank.org is a contact link. Reach out. If you’re worried about location, the internet is an amazing thing, and we can always video chat.
Thank you, my friend for allowing me to take this journey with you. I love.
-blessings.
Monica Swank 