Somedays, I get lost in what to share. This is one of those. I have been focusing on trauma and crisis for the last few weeks. What I want to be able to do from my desk and chair is reach into my computer and grab a few of you who are reading this and bring you into my physical space. I want to do this more than anything because I know with my full heart that you are sitting in the same place emotionally, spiritually, and mentally that I was years ago.
Your heart is crushing under the weight of your day, but you have so much willpower and bravery that you are going day to day in a strength that you aren’t sure from where it comes. In fact, you don’t even seem to notice it most of the time. You have dream jobs, you have beautiful families. If you were an outsider looking in, you would see something close to perfection. But you personally know the joy that is missing. Dark days or moments seep into you.
I want to grab you and bring you into my space to show you that you can have both. I want to help you unbury that event or events in your past that are casting shadows on your life. But we both know I can’t do that by way of a wire that transmits signals. And thank God! I love that we are made up of flesh, bone, heart, soul, and memories. But because we are we feel the impact of the world with more force than any other creation.
It’s in this feeling that I want you to experience relief. I long for you to feel release while holding to a memory. Henri Nouwen wrote an entire book based on this very idea. You see as crazy as it sounds there is a gift in the pain you are carrying around. Only, however, if you allow yourself to heal from it. Nouwen’s book, Wounded Healer, is designed to show leaders how to care out of this space.
These things are not just for leaders. Healing is for all of us! If you were sitting in my house with me today, what story would you tell me? If one popped into your mind, then it’s time my friend for you to move forward. The first piece of any hard work is to honestly see the truth behind it. No work is ever accomplished well without this honest overview, goals determined, recognition of obstacles, and a plan to overcome as well as achieve the end result.
If your freedom from some lifetime pain could be found just over the next hill, wouldn’t you keep walking until you came to it regardless of how exhausted you were? I write from a Christian perspective which I realize in our world often is portrayed as a false healing or hope. I assure you that what I am sharing is not false. I also can assure you that these same steps work for you whether or not Christ is your savior. My only promise that comes from faith is that it does not dull or fade away when you do the work under the care of the Holy Spirit.
Take inventory of your life. In what moments does it appear as if you are wearing a mask or fake smile to achieve your goals? Is this taking up more or less of your days? Is there some traumatic event or crisis that took place in your life? Is it possible that this has impacted your regular day-to-day living? These are questions that I call getting naked or being raw with yourself. When you can take this first step the rest are not so difficult.
I have a friend who teaches grief care. He’s like me in that he did the work personally before he attempted to teach it to others. One of the things him and I have talked about many times is that the pain does not just fade away. For him as a healer, grief is a daily weight that people carry around in which he is trying to show how they can find an acceptance that offers freedom from that weight. For me, trauma and crisis are more like a cancer that spreads via the blood stream. It becomes so interwoven that we don’t even recognize it until it chokes the life out of some important part of us. I long to give you back every aspect of yourself, but not just back to the self that you had prior to the event, but to a healthier, peace-filled, transformed you. Come through the wires my friend contact@monicaswank.org.
- Blessings
Monica Swank 