I am an observer by nature. Yes, I know if you research my name what you would come up with fits me as a descriptor quite well: advisor, counselor. However, before these things I am a people watcher. I hear and see the way individuals respond in specific situations. This is not the end. I process these things in my mind making the best attempt to understand why they act or react a certain way. I have done this my entire life. How ironic that I would find myself in a career as a spiritual advisor.
My point in all of this is that I see advertisements for those that teach positive attitudes, healthy thinking, or development into a strong leader. You hand over the cash and they make you into something great. Why do I know this, because this is my field. I follow leaders in psychology and spirituality that teach transformation of thoughts. But I am amazed at the number of people who follow these get healthy programs at a distance and are then dismayed at the outcome.
I hope you don’t feel like I am picking on you today. I also hope that you don’t think I am saying these individuals who promote this are wrong. Take it from someone who without discipline falls very easily into the negativity trap, there is healing in the work that these individuals offer. But there is a right and a wrong way.
I cannot teach you to think positively, to be a strong leader, to develop right or healthy thinking without first engaging in your life. Who are you? Who has played a substantial role in your life? What events or experiences have shaped the way you receive and process information? Without these clues as well as others there is no way to shift thoughts and behaviors. And there is so much more that goes into this such as what are my qualifications, because we all have limitations.
But you can learn these things. You can transform who you are. You can live a healthier life filled with peace. Why do I know this? Because the educated side of me has learned it. The spiritual side of me has experienced it and my physical as well as my psychological side is a living testimony. Let me start with a basic idea. This one is personal for me. Say you (or I) tend to have some anger issues. Unfortunately, this emotion rears its head at some really inopportune times which often are the same ones we would like to forget. This example is always why buying into a program without engaging in some other way with the leader of the program is often ineffective.
At the very basic level what we need to consider is what is behind the anger. It is a natural emotion, but unhealthy displays or uncontrolled outbursts are not. You see every thought drives a physical reaction. Are there things in your past that cause this emotion to surface irrationally or cause a reaction that impacts others in hurtful ways? Are there individuals who have modelled this behavior for you? If so, there is a need to realign the interpretations you have developed from years of repetitively misfiling it. What of the spiritual side of it? How does your relationship with God figure into these bursts of uncontrolled anger? Is guilt an underlying factor? Learning how to accept the grace of God while removing unhealthy anger responses are just as valuable.
You see my friends there is a way to better living, it just isn’t a one-time event. In fact, if you fall into this belief then you may actually create more anxiety, more anger, more guilt if you don’t overcome certain behaviors than from where you originally started. I speak about transformation of mind, of behavior, of life regularly. I can do so because I have experienced it. I know that peace-filled living is out there for you and me because I live it daily. In the midst of financial burdens, loss of family members, broken relationships, mom of teenagers (I just had to say it) there is hope. It comes ultimately through Christ, but it begins with you.
As I say each week, please reach out to me for more information. Visit my website or email me at contact@monicaswank.org. I love you and am grateful for you letting me journey through life with you. Until next time – blessings.
Monica Swank 