Some days the block of cement that sits on my shoulders is greater than the strength in my legs to lift me up. When I returned to get my education, my husband and I sat down and made a list. Things like who was I, what was I specifically interested in, what sort of careers would I be interested in? I think that all of those answers came back to volunteer work. The truth of it is that this is one of the most rewarding things we can do as individuals but sustaining oneself on volunteer work is impossible!
So, I chose a career that would help to support us financially. The decision to follow my path would fit into his schedule as well as that of our large family. He made a career change that was a financial strain, but that my income would eventually compensate. Then Covid hit. We made choices as a family and my career was over before it really got started. Hanging over our heads was debt. Not just I spent too much on my credit card kind of debt, but huge bills that we had incurred during my education.
Can you relate to the seriousness of something like this? Where do you go from a place that is daunting or heavy? How does this really fit into the idea of transforming one’s thoughts and behaviors? Well, let me start by dissecting it piece by piece.
First, create different spaces. I know life, job, and dreams all can get lumped together at times, but they aren’t the same. Create different ways to categorize your life. My life is the best it has ever been. I am achieving great strides in many areas. Dreams that I had not considered in the past are slowly becoming a reality. These are just examples, but there is a point. When we are able to separate life, and failure creeps in it stays in its lane. Just because we are not achieving goals in one area of our lives, does not classify us as failing. Of course, not achieving never means that, but in my western mindset this idea is prone to seep in from time to time.
Second, do not become idle. I am not saying replace one thing with another but in a sense yes. In the northern US when it is winter it is a waste of time to plant a garden. The frigid temperatures freeze any seedling, most likely before it sprouts out of the ground. You just wouldn’t waste your time with this type of activity. But you might start a seed garden inside or begin to plan for the spring planting season. Keeping the focus on those activities that feel crushing might be necessary but limit the time you must do them to a reasonable amount, and then find other activities that will build you up. Do not sit around in the negative, or the overwhelming status of one situation! I promise you nothing good will come out of this, your brain just can’t “be happy and not worry” if you’re stuck in the quicksand 24/7.
Third, praise the little things. Inflation has hit really hard for some this year. It is sort of glaring at us in the face, mocking our every effort. That makes it hard to enjoy paying the electric bill. I heard this piece of wisdom years ago and it has stuck with me. Be grateful and thankful for the little stuff like paying your electric bill. Why? Because you were able to turn your lights on last month, or use your stove, or run your AC. Whatever your little things are, catch them. This doesn’t just mean things, it means you. Maybe you smiled at someone today and they returned it. I don’t know what your little things are, but what are the things that bring joy? If that concept is too big, what things brought joy today?
I’m cheering for you, my friend. As always, I am grateful that you allow me to travel on this journey called life with you.
-blessings
Monica Swank 