Living Our Stories

Photo by Wellington Cunha on Pexels.com

I listened to a sermon Sunday in which the pastor told me not to get too far from my story. Today, I read a paper from a student that talked about the work she believes that she is called to do. Every day I watch my husband put on his uniform and go to work, not for his paycheck, but to live out his story. For the last three months, I have been telling students about the rich history of the world in which we all get our story. That’s what I want to talk about today, our stories.

They are as individual as we are. They are filled with the stuff that makes us who we are at the core. When our stories intertwine with that of God’s there is a different depth that even we cannot grasp. While I will talk about the value of the story here – I still lack a full knowledge of its meaning.

Let me begin with my story. Since I like to build stories from images, picture this with me. Every event, every person, every moment in my life has either placed gifts or stones at my feet. I say this for your sake not mine because I believe that my stones are also gifts. The consistent placement of either of these in my life built two things: a wall and a heart of compassion. As I have aged several other events have also taken place. The wall at one point fully encompassed the heart. I lived in darkness, selfishness, and depression. Once I realized this and began to take the wall down slowly – I mean very slowly – like stone by stone, the heart of compassion not only was released, but it experienced an expansion like no other I’ve known prior or since in my life.

My darkness began very early as a child. I allowed hurt and anger a small opening as a young child. It was alright because what harm could it really do? Let me tell you it was not a small thing!! That anger grew into justification. Justification for my right to be who I wanted and do what I wanted. And boy did I! Inside of all those feelings was a sense that I was entitled to feel hurt. But I have to admit that I really hated the pain of hurting. If I was allowed to hurt, I also was allowed to numb it however I wanted. So began the first hit of a cigarette, which turned into a first hit of a joint, and then a first line of Cocaine, and shame. This is where it gets good. Shame is a weird thing. It doesn’t care about the person, it has one goal and that is to bury that person in so much guilt that there is no climbing out.

Shame was heavy, oppressive. So, I pushed it down. Promiscuity and recklessness became a new norm. And shame would go away when I hid it with the numbness of drugs. Until it came back. This time when shame came back it no longer oppressed, it stood up tall in my face and laughed in mockery. I couldn’t run. There was no place that I could leave my shame and so I did the unthinkable, I decided dying was the only escape.

Have you ever watched a Sci-Fi movie where there are two worlds living in existence together without the other worlds knowledge? At some point in the movie the characters of those worlds somehow learn of each other. Sorta like time travel. That is my story! Every time I put that line of coke into my nostril and shame wrapped its tentacles around my heart the other world felt something else. In perfect rhythm, time and time again, on constant repeat in the other world a man’s knees hit the ground under the new weight (I heaped on) as he dragged the trunk of a tree up a hill. And every time I devalued my body, giving it away carelessly that same man felt his skin rip apart as a stake was driven into it.

Why? For what reason would this occur? Because there are two sides to our world, the evil and the truth. Wrapped up into evil is all that brings us down, devalues us, rips open our hearts, shreds our humanity. On the other side is the place where all that attacks us is absorbed allowing restoration or hope to fill our hearts, our souls, our spirits.

But we have to reach across that chasm and find it. Why, because you have a story inside of you. Not a story of pain. Yes, you might have a wall of pain, but it is not your story. Your story is waiting for you to reach across the abyss. When you do you come alive, your story becomes passion, your focus is turned outward and the world in which darkness tries to overcome you is changed.

Maybe you save a life in a fire, maybe you pray with a nervous patient, maybe you give a blanket to the homeless. Whatever it is, shame begins to shrink, guilt is beat back and something else begins to take its place.

Let me step out of my metaphoric language for a minute. I want you to know that if you are living into these places of darkness, I am not making light of it. It is real! It is suffocating! And it is incredibly dangerous! When my daughter plays basketball and is struggling to make shots, I have told her for something like six years now, you only need 2 points. Do you know why? Two points gives you hope to make the next basket. Soon you are shooting threes. If you keep your focus and the hope, then there is real potential for the outcome of the game to turn in your favor. How do I know this? I’ve seen it played out in sports and I’ve lived it played out in my own life. I do not have superpowers so when I say you can do this one stone at a time, I have walked it with you. So, has Jesus.

I have a few favorite words that I sing when I can’t hear the voice of hope, let me share them with you. “Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full into his wonderful face, and the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of his glory and grace.” (Helen Lemmel)

There is one other thing that has helped me immensely and that is to know someone in the world cares. Hold these next words dear to you wherever you may travel. They are my heart of compassion that Jesus helped me to uncover. They are my story. It is my hope that you will find encouragement and strength in them. Thank you for allowing me to travel with you! I love you, my friend.

            “I pray love into your life. I pray strength. I pray hope. I pray Jesus. You are made for a story. Your story is valuable. Your story is needed. You are precious to God. You are precious to me. May your feet be quick to find Jesus. You are loved!”

Ping Pong Paddles

Photo by Sascha Du00fcser on Pexels.com

Do you have weird thoughts randomly hit you every once and awhile? Today, while I was teaching on the books of Corinthians, I was struck by one such thought. It sparked not only a new line of thinking (sort of), but also a physical action. We were talking about how Paul is so frustrated with the church that he uses sarcasm or mockery to make his point. Have you ever done that? Or has anyone done that with you?

If we are the recipient of mockery, it’s like there is this switch that flips inside of us. It is a two-way button. It moves up or down depending on who the person is that pokes at us. That movement is accompanied by emotions. Turn it around for a minute. Say that you are the one trying to make a point. You exercise your uncanny sarcasm on your friend. This is not a little thing you want them to see, but some larger issue – a bad girlfriend who they just can’t give up, maybe. When you speak the truth to them, does it turn into an argument or are they grateful for your insight? I’m not voting on the latter; however, I have seen some cases when the presentation is right that it works without hard feelings.

What if you and that same friend are sitting in church and the pastor addresses an issue that resonates with the unhealthy relationship of your friend? Let’s say that the pastor even uses sarcasm when talking about it. I bet there is a greater likelihood that the friend will hear the words with an openness. While there is no guarantee of it, the chances are better. Here’s why. For the hearer of the rebuke when it is someone close to us it feels condemning. When there is distance or relationship it doesn’t have the same sting. Paul knew the churches of Corinth that he was correcting, and they knew him, but he was intimately associated with a smaller number of the group. While the church itself was caught up in not only disruptive arguments, the members were also suing each other. Why? Because their relationships were more connected. When they disagreed it quickly fanned into heated debates because it felt like personal attacks.

Reggie McNeal is a leadership expert. He teaches thousands of leaders how to receive criticism. I think what he says is not only wise it is biblical and useful to the average person. In his book, A Work of Heart, he talks about the conflict that leaders should expect in ministry. Listen to these subheadings: “Get Over It…Choose Your Pain…Examine Your Critics…Look in the Mirror…Get Good Advice…Be Kind and Honest… Forgive…Make a Decision.” These are wise words! And I didn’t even get to the meat of the chapter. I’m not sure it is all that necessary in this context.

What I really want you to see is what I am always teaching, being honest with ourselves. If someone is pushing against something sensitive in our life, there might be a need to do some personal reflection. What if we worked our way through the subheadings listed above? Not all our critics are right. Neither are we, right. Yet, if we took some basic steps it might look like this:

  • Sort out the words from the emotional response.
  • Don’t let the weight of the situation cripple.
  • Examine the character of the person behind the words.
  • Do a real honest inner self examination.
  • Don’t make life altering decisions alone.
  • Give yourself some grace (and the one who pointed out the flaw)
  • Forgive you, forgive others, forgive God.
  • Take action.

Real change is hard. If someone calls us out on some issue in our lives, we need to at least be open enough to hear the words. My guess is if this happens and causes initial tension, we probably have recognized it ourselves. Real change is hard. If it’s a lifestyle change that we have carried around with us for years, it gets even harder. Real change is hard.

Okay, want to hear the good news? You’re not alone – ever!! If you have faith in God, then you have the mightiest warrior ever on your side. You or I might not have personally experienced God this way, but the Bible is full of examples. If this isn’t where you are right now, there are still people out there. I always mention reaching out to me. It’s what I do, journey with people as they make changes. In my work as a hospital Chaplain, one thing I often hear is that people think they are alone. My personal belief is that people think they are burdens. Remember, from the first created human we have all had to lean on someone along the way. There is someone out there to take this journey with you. Push forward – you’ve got this!

-blessings

Reggie McNeal, A Work of Heart, (San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass, 2011), 154-174.

One Rung at a Time

I recently had a patient who expressed loss of hope. When we explored this together, she shared a physical weight, a spiritual instability, and a mental emptiness. She was tired in every area of her life. Throughout the conversation, several key things were obvious to me.

The first being that she was stuck in a vicious cycle. It is the same whirlwind that engulfs many of us. It isn’t the hopelessness, but the lies that refuse to let us climb out or that knock us back down when we get part of the way out of the hole. The crazy thing about lies, is that you do not need to be in the middle of depression to experience the weight of them. In fact, you probably do not even recognize them because they are a pretty standard form of self-talk for a large percentage of us.

The second thing that I saw was that the physical aspect of life was beating her up and that naturally it had seeped into every other area of her being. We are so prone to see the portions of our lives in which we can compare and contrast with others. If ours looks less in some way or is encased in difficulties, it can appear as if we are less.

The last piece that I was able to discern was her strengths. She had so many great things going for her, so many tools in her toolbelt in which she could use to overcome the desperate place that she was in. The problem was that there was so much negativity that it overshadowed even the tools that were ready and recognizable.

When we get to the place where we feel a little bit like Peter and the other disciples in the middle of a storm or in fear of the unknown, we need to be able to pull out specific tools. (Read Matthew 14.22-32) Each one of these that I offer are practical and can be used in more than desperate situations. One of the most difficult thoughts for us to grasp is that we are not alone in feeling our feelings, or in experiencing life the way we are in the moment. So, I want to give you a nugget that if you hold onto you will find strength in. If you read the story in Matthew, you realize that Peter is still in the midst of his fear even as he is speaking to and look at Jesus. The thing that steadies him, is Jesus’ hand. Not his voice, not his presence, but his hand. All Peter had to focus on was the one thing, the hand of his Lord. I wish this was some amazing theological gift I was giving you, but the reality of it is, that when you are struggling all you have to see is one thing. Attempting to put the entire picture into focus is too overwhelming. In every situation there is one thing that offers hope. Like Peter, that is the one thing that can give you the ability to take one step at a time.

For many of you reading this you might be thinking it’s your faith. While that is where I would naturally go as well, I suggest to you that the idea of faith is too grand. You need something simple. When I was going through my divorce and the world was pretty dark, I had my faith for sure. I also had one thing that centered me and turned me in the right direction. I would sing the song, Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus. It was not my whole faith, but it represented both my faith and it reminded me to take one simple step at a time. Each time it was the same step first, look at Christ. I didn’t need to see the entirety of scripture. I didn’t need to focus on prayer. I didn’t need to guarantee I attended worship. While all of these things were good and had the ability to fill me, they were overwhelming. So, I just turned my eyes to Jesus. It’s different for each of us. For Peter, it was the touch of Jesus’ hand. For each of you reading this, it is another just as valuable nugget.

So, hold that and dig into the other steps I want to share with you. When we are in places that continue to beat us up it is incredibly difficult, as I already said, to focus on the big picture. Try this instead. Consider the fact that you are not just a physical being. You are also spiritual, emotional, mental. Begin by taking those pieces apart. Let me explain. Step one, write down or mentally consider all that you are feeling or sensing in each of these realms. What does your physical life feel like right now, your spiritual, your … you get the idea. A physical description might be – exhausted, but go on to explain what it feels like to be exhausted. My patient said she felt like a boulder was sitting in the middle of her gut. Do this for each piece of you.

Then figure out which one is the best place to put your focus. Is your spiritual being in the healthiest place? If so, use that place to keep moving forward. Let me explain. If it’s spiritual, then that place becomes your go to when the physical oppresses. But you need to give the spiritual access to the physical, mental, emotional. I’ll use my example again. Let’s say you are experienced a heartbreaking divorce and can’t seem to get passed it. You would recognize the qualities in the other areas of your life. Physically it might be lonely. Mentally you might feel ugly. Emotionally it might create deep sadness. Then you would allow your strong spiritual side to feed truth into these areas. When lies surface in these areas you combat it. Physically you combat it by saying aloud, “God will never leave me.” Mentally, you say aloud, “I am made in the image of God which is beautiful.” Emotionally, you say, “Jesus brings me peace and comfort.”

My current frustration is that this is a blog. You are on one side of the device in a completely different space and time. There is so much more to explore in this arena. So many more great things to give to you so that you can combat the ugly stuff of life. Just know I am praying for you, my friend. And if you find yourself needing or wanting more go to my homepage and shoot me an email through the link.

-blessings

Hyperthyroidism or Personality?

First, off this is not a medical post nor is my intent to poke at the medical field. This illness just brings up something that you might be able to relate to as much as me. Years ago, as a young mom, I was at my end. Physically, there was not one more ounce of me to give. Emotionally, the world was so heavy all that I felt was grief and sadness. Mentally, there was no divide between the day and the night, it was like walking around in a zombie state. Spiritually, I had shut God out because he was just dead wrong!! Picture painted – shell mom. But there is no exaggeration in this description. To make matters worse, one of the outcomes was that I had no appetite. I wasn’t hungry, food was an offput for me, so I didn’t eat. The result is obvious, I lost weight and very quickly.

This is where the diagnosis of hyperthyroidism comes in. I was at the emergency room and the doctor should have seen that I was severely depressed. Instead, he focused on my weight loss and wanted to test my thyroid. That never happened. Here’s why. I knew the reasons behind this sudden change in me and he had no clue about the depression because I have a very outgoing personality. I am also naturally prone to be kind, to please others, and to set self aside. That doctor was not alone in missing cues. My personal friends had no clue either.

Behind the façade I had put on was a crumbling marriage, a loss of my dreams to attend college, a loss of a job that meant more to me than a paycheck. Some of you know just what I am hinting at here. Mountains can come down on me, but my personality does not easily allow for that to be reflected to the world. People miss things because I am almost always talkative, I almost always have a smile on my face, and the deeply engrained desire to give of myself takes over. Well, actually I should have used past tense in that last statement because God has shifted all of that for me.

But it’s important for those of you out there who are still in this place to see what is being said here. Because of my circle of influences, my unhealthy relationships, and my self-imposed lies, I was destroying myself in every arena. When you are no longer able to meet the basic needs, you are in a danger zone.

There are answers! In fact, there are lots of them, but you have to be willing to embrace at least one of them. They range from self-care to specialized help. Obviously, this is a post in which miles are between us. Which means, I cannot advise you as to which path you should take. But, even if you’re not sure the direction there is value in taking at least one. Let me suggest to you that starting simple might be a good path.

I have spoken about this in the past, but honesty is the first step. Being honest with self, with others, and with God must occur for you to move out of the haze. Determining what is the root cause is not only valuable it is the only way to move forward. One of the next steps is giving yourself tools. One of the best tools ever is to place true dependence in God. By doing this is not to disregard the work we as humans must do, but it is trusting God to guide us through the process. We are also called to draw a line in the sand with our actions. If part of the cause is sin, then we must acknowledge it, determine not to step over the line, give ourselves grace if we do, and then begin again. Then the weeding begins. We must align our thoughts about self, life, others, etc. with that which God says is true. If they do not match up then we need to begin the slow, slow, slow (this takes patience) journey of allowing God to change these ways of thinking. Part of that pruning and weeding often includes friendships or unhealthy relationships. All of these tools also require one other thing, someone to take the journey with us. Making substantial changes alone is difficult. Jesus had twelve friends!

While some of my other posts deal with these ideas, this one is a little more intense. There are a few things I want to say. First, if you are experiencing self-harm thoughts, you NEED to reach out right away for help. Go to a friend, pastor, someone. Second, you’re not alone. Others, even those who sit in successful positions in our world suffer from these same things. Third, you really are going to need some help with this journey. Take a look at my other blog posts, podcasts or resources, even consider emailing me via the homepage on this website.

Above all, find courage to be you again. Thank you for allowing me to go on this journey with you. -blessings

Winding the Clock

In celebration of… in light of… as a result of (sounds better) the recent changing of the clocks, I thought I would talk about this topic. I often share in broader terms, but I believe this post needs to get a little more specific. For some of you it will have close to the heart relevance. Even if you don’t relate personally, I hope you will read it through its entirety because I can almost guarantee that someone you know will come to mind when you do.

When I was a kid, I was what I would call a free spirit. Every rule was restrictive, almost to the point of oppressive. I was a pro at breaking them. I was also in trouble much of the time. The kind of kid I was would probably have the label, “creative or expressive,” these days. Either way, I still don’t do well with rules. I like order, but not boundaries. Some of you are probably nodding your head in full agreement.

Unfortunately, order and guidelines are incredibly valuable for me. You see, I have suffered in some form from depression over my life. This has its origins in several key areas, but I am not addressing those today. What I want to talk about is the clock. Let’s say the clock is just a timeline written across each day. Every new sunrise brings a new line. Along that line is structure. It is this regularity that gives advantage to those who struggle with depressive disorders.

The approach that I take in my spiritual care is trifold. It has roots in psychology, pastoral care, and spiritual formation. Therefore, what you will find next in this post involves all three. If you or someone you know suffers from the “blues” there are actions that you can take that makes these times more manageable. You should design it individually to fit you and your life. The only aspect of it that remains fairly consistent is that each day is new. But this is not just a belief you can have it has to be a mantra. Each day, you have to get up and verbally tell yourself it is a new day. In that moment, you also have to find a physical thing in which you are grateful for and thank God. If you need to write it down and carry it with you into the day, do it!

Beyond that, build your day one block at a time. But have your building blocks preset so you do not have to determine them in the middle of your depressive state. Here’s an example:

  • Name my grateful, thank God.
  • Get a shower and get ready for the day, even if I have nothing planned.
  • Go to work or work on something productive (this could be as simple as make your bed or sweep your floors)
  • If you do not work outside of the home, make a list of things to do for the day, then set a timeframe in which to accomplish them.
  • Allow yourself a lunch break, and several breaks during the day, but take something with you into them – a person, a book, not social media and not work.
  • Be sure that your day is full, but not overwhelming. Again, it could be prayer time, simple chores, a phone call.
  • Be sure that you reach out to someone during the day. DON’T wait for them, you initiate it.
  • Do some physical activity outside of household chores. Take a walk (it can be around the block), weed the garden, take the stairs at work, something.
  • Eat regular meals – even if they don’t include all of the food groups, eat something at a regular scheduled time.
  • At the end of the day, write down or give voice (I don’t journal) three things that you did and praise yourself for doing them. Then give praise to God for giving you the day and the strength to do the things you did.

One key component to this list, is that you do not write it, or use it negatively against yourself. It is meant to predetermine your steps when you have no energy to do them on your own. It is meant to keep focus on the things that you accomplished, not the things that you did not achieve.

There is one other piece that I want to address. You are a piece of creation. That means you are knitted together with every other aspect of it through the hands of the Creator. He gives strength to the trees that stand for centuries. He gives power to the waves that crash unending on the shorelines across the globe. He is never absent whether or not you see or feel him. Recall this on tough days and allow yourself to lean into him to help carry you.

-blessings my friend

The Gift of Friendship

Friendship is one of the greatest gifts. I tend to think it is one of the oldest gifts. It is also one of the widest framed relationships. Each of us experience it differently. Male, female, adult, child, and many more variables play into how and who we choose for our friends, how we maintain our relationships, as well as how closely we develop them. Before you go any further, think about your friends. I bet you have friends of all sorts. Some know the deepest places of your life; some are just for hanging out. Whatever shape and size they are probably not all consistent.

As I often do, my mind drifts to Jesus. To the kind of friendships that Jesus had in his adult life. We tend to call them disciples, but for Jesus they were the men who shared the most intimate parts of his life with him. He ate, drank, traveled, prayed, worked with them. Literally he did life with them. As friends do, they knew what the expressions on his face meant or his body language. And they were incredibly diverse in character.

So why am I writing about friends on a website that deals with healing and health? I think that friends or the lack of them is a key component of all aspects of health. We physically receive immeasurable value from their touch. We receive stress relief through the form of relaxation or laughter. The same is true for our emotions and mental health. We also have access to compassion. There is no less value for our spiritual health. Perhaps one of the key aspects of friends that we often overlook is that they provide for us fulfillment in areas of our lives that our spouse or significant other cannot or does not.

As a mentor, one of the first things I ask is about friendships. The questions are deeply personal. Here’s why. If you are going to overcome obstacles or make changes, you’re going to need help. The best kind of help comes through strong relationships in which we are held accountable with love and grace.

I speak to you from experience. I spent a percentage of my adult life discouraged from building friendships. Most days were difficult. Rarely if ever did I go out with friends. I was so grateful for my relationships in church. Additionally, for my large family. I battled depression. Eventually, it created such a deep-seated bitterness in me that it was life threatening. It also took me almost as many years to change those patterns after I was no longer in the relationship. Oddly enough, it shifted who I was from an extravert, to in many social settings, an introvert.

The reason for this is what I have spoken about before both in my podcast and my blog, we have the ability to alter our mind’s thought patterns. How we do that is just as important as with who’s help we do it. As you move forward you need to consider who has impact on your social life. Let me give you another personal example. Years ago, I experienced a very traumatic event in my life. I chose not to tell anyone about it. I just buried the event. If I didn’t think about it then it didn’t exist or impact me, right? Unfortunately, the exact opposite happens in these cases. Especially, with negative events. We don’t even realize it, but our thoughts begin to shift, the people we choose in our lives reflect our internal thoughts, ultimately our behaviors do as well.

The same is true as we begin to move towards healing. The people we surround ourselves with need to be strong in compassion, but gracious in truth telling. We have room for all of our friends, but just as I mentioned at the beginning, they each serve a unique purpose. So take stock, who are you going to depend for what?  

A Quiet Place

I recently wrote about time away with God. I wanted to expand on that idea just a bit. I am firm in my theory that there is not one way in particular in which we should spend our time with God. Nor a location. Sorta.

When Christ came he gave examples, but he didn’t say it should occur in a garden, at a table, etc. He said to present our petitions to God in a simple and not flashy manner. (Matthew 6.5) He also said God is fully aware of our hearts and our needs (Matthew 6.8). Christ told us to do this in private. What does that mean?

Have you ever been so desperate that you had wished you were naked? Yes, naked. Naked in emotion, naked in thought, naked in expression. When Adam and Eve were naked in the garden they were without the desire to compare. They were fully, one hundred percent themselves before God. I have prayed for a friend in a public place and wished for a place in which I was alone. Years ago, I was urged to get on my knees and pray in the middle of a congregation of 500+ people. It was a very private prayer, spoken in my heart and it was initiated by a nudge from the Holy Spirit in a unique way. As I prayed, my heart longed to be alone. I am tearful person, but in this moment I felt myself being held in check (as much as that is possible given the situation). At another time, I was alone in my living room. It was the middle of the night. I had worship music playing quietly when I felt this urge to get down prostate before God. In the moments that followed, I wept, I cried out uninhibited by the eyes or ears of others. I was truly naked before God.

We live in a world that is obsessed with appearance and right behavior. I ask you this, can your spirit worship in a space that has eyes that judge? Prayer can happen in the ordinary of a day. Driving or walking in a crowd does not necessarily hinder prayer. But, being in the presence of God where you feel connection to your core rarely happens in those moments. Christ stole away to a place of privacy. A place where he could be real and have an intimate conversation with the one whom he loved beyond any other.

Blessings in your journey my friend. Find a moment to soak up the God who never forgets or disregards you.

What’s the Best Way to Experience Spiritual Renewal

On occasion, I will get asked the question, “what do you do for spiritual renewal?” That is a hard one to answer. Most of my days are filled with the stuff that makes all of our lives busy. I balance work, motherhood, a marriage, currently four part time jobs and my own ministry. That does not allow for many moments of peace. In fact, when I was finishing my clinical hours for my Chaplaincy degree, I responded to the question with an answer that included my car, loud music, and long drives. That hasn’t really changed. I have a little sports car; at times I get in turn on some great tunes and find some awesome backroads.

But that is not true or deep spiritual space with God. For those moments, I often dig out a book on prayer. In a quiet place I will open it up and choose a style of prayer in which to indulge. That sounds sort of weird. Yet, some of the times in which I have felt the Lord move in my life has been in these unique opportunities.

I have drawn trees in deep prayer. As I move my pencil along the paper, I open up the day or the pressures of life for God to come in. For me the physical picture reminds me of what I forget when I close my eyes at the end of the day. The leaves or branches tend to take on some serious concerns. The trunk gets inundated with thoughts that flow out of my brain or heart onto the paper.

Do you know what I think stands above all the rest when choosing an option for spiritual renewal? That you do it. The how or the how often are not as important. Although, I would say that the frequency of renewal can be related to the Sabbath. The point is that you need to be alone with God on a regular basis. In those events, you need to release your heart and mind to him so that he can restore you.

There are numerous options. Prayer styles, fasting, scripture readings and reflections, worship through music. Regardless how you find God, find him. I could give you the best formatted design for renewal, but it is not all that important. For sure there are spaces that are ideal for resting. In these settings we often can release pressures of life and turn our attention to God. I do spiritual retreats for a living. I know that this is true. What believers take away from retreats are equivalent to this renewal we are talking about. Yet, those are restricted to times and places. God and renewal are available in every second of a day. You just have to discover in what ways that happens best for you.

Grandpa’s Red Sweater

As I reflect on the events of life this morning for those people who are closest to me, I am reminded of the harsh world we have lived in this last year and a half. Many of you reading this have experienced personal losses, financially or work related. Others of you have felt the pain in a more crushing way, through the loss of a special relationship. Regardless of the type, loss is hard. Yes, it shapes us. By learning to accept and alter our lives we are molded in new ways emotionally.

As a hospital Chaplain, I see this on a regular basis. For those who lose a dear friend, family member or spouse, I often give them a simple piece of advice. As it is received and processed, for many it becomes a treasured gift. The suggestion is this: find a way to give regular honor to the loved one as well as find a way to still feel the love of them in your own life.

I am quite aware that I am speaking about a permanent loss of relationship here, but you can take this idea (with alterations) into other areas of life. Years ago, I lost my dad’s parents. Both my grandparents passed within months of one another. It was an especially difficult time for my mom and dad. While I felt the loss, it was different for me. Of course, my heart ached, but when I thought about my grandpa I was reminded of his strength. In so many ways he was strong.

Somehow, I ended up with a cardigan of his. A bright red sweater, which has a small hole in it. It doesn’t sound like much, but I remember him wearing this style of sweater. I would love to tell you I put it on to remember him (which I do), but I put it on because on rough days in life, I feel a hug when I wrap it around me. Inside of that hug is his strength. I am reminded how he fought against so many obstacles and overcame. I am reminded of his journey through life that regardless of how bumpy it got, he just never quit.

My grandparents passed away in 1991. I still put that sweater on from time to time. I bet if you think about it, you have some person, some event, something that brings you what is most needed in times of trial. It isn’t too late to start. Even if years have gone by, I believe the special moments we have in life are gifts. Whether it is a person, place, or thing, there is great value that you took away. Obviously, you won’t be able to relive it as it once was, but by giving it a place in your life you might find encouragement.

I want to suggest one more thing here. I believe that there is nothing scripturally wrong with this idea. Let me just say, in case you were thinking of doing this, don’t make that thing or person an idol. (Ok, now we’re off the hook with God) Seriously though, God is the one who instituted remembrance. It is so important to him that he speaks of it regularly in scripture. Not just remembering him but remembering what other Godly men and women have done before us. It is when we recall what they have done that we can face life head on. A perfect example is Abraham. (Romans 4.1-12)

So, put on your sweater. Feel warm or strong or loved. And thank a gracious, loving God for having given you such a wonderful gift. Be grateful for both the person, place, or thing and the memory. Then face your challenges knowing that God goes before you knocking down giants.

-blessings

More than a Rest

I was recently reading a book by Marjorie Thompson, Soul Feast. In one chapter, she talks about the Sabbath as it relates to rest. She draws this great picture association. It looks something like this: work, work, work ……….. vacation vs. sabbath time ………… vocation.[1] In the biblical studies class I teach, we are always talking about how God established all things with a sense of order. Sabbath was not just a directive it was a part of creation. In a world that was made up of water, wind, and the Spirit of God, he not only designed creation to fill a specific space he made all of creation to work together as a system. A system that is perfect and that is interconnected.

When that connection is altered, as we see through the story of Adam and Eve, it is as if the world is off the axis. It is this centering of the axis that allows the world to move. Not only that it allows life for all things to exist in the sense that we know it. The sabbath is intended to provide us with rest. It also promotes a remembering of God. When we disregard this piece of creation and the role it is designed to play, we shift our role which is an integral part of the whole.

So, how do we restore this portion of our busy lives? That is the million-dollar question for sure! Rest is not any easy activity for us to participate in. We are always thinking of the next project at work or home. We are always running to some event. We even plan a forecast for the next five to ten years of our lives. I believe there are a few reasonable ways in which we can reestablish this part of the whole.

First, cut yourself some slack. Do not feel guilt over not doing it. Guilt creates anxiety and stress in every oracle of your body. Second, start small. Allow yourself the adjustment to a new lifestyle. Jumping in with a huge commitment often sets us up for failure. Third, make it a priority. When we place value on things, they become a standard. Eventually, we move life around these things and not these things around life. Finally, don’t give up. Continue to be consistent even when it is hard.

Simple steps ensure that you will regain this piece of healthcare for your body. Choose what is allowed to be in sabbath with you. The idea is rest. That means leaving behind those things that are not restful. When sabbath was established, we were still naked and living in the wilderness. Choose where this will occur (not getting naked and in the wilderness – solitude). Rest can happen anywhere. Do not create more work for yourself by filling sabbath with some predestined location or event (church is one of those things). I mention this idea about where because for my husband, who is a chief of a volunteer fire department and who lives within eyesight of the station, rest cannot typically occur at home.

Remember more than anything else that rest is not an activity, it is a lifestyle. Therefore, it might be a moment. It might be pulling off the side of the road to recenter through prayer or song. It should become such a natural part of our being that we desire it or feel a loss of it when it is missing. Jesus got into a boat or walked away alone. Sabbath restores us. It allows us to recall what God has and continues to do for us.

[1] Marjorie J. Thompson, Soul Feast (Kentucky: Westminster John Knox Press, 2014), 72.